‘Thank You, Next ‘ – A Letter To My Ex

Pop princess Ariana Grande released the song of all songs over the weekend that left everyone shook!! Thank you, next, is a melodic bop thanking all of her exes for the life lessons they’ve taught her. While a song like this is obviously not the first of its kind, it did inspire to me to do some self – reflecting about my past relationships and write a letter to my ex.

Dear Ex,

I never would’ve considered writing you anything that didn’t start and end with ‘F You,” considering our past, yet here I am. To cut right to the chase… *sigh* I want to truly thank you for everything that you’ve ever done or said to me when we were together.

We were young – I’d say what? Like our early twenties? LOL. What a time!!

Thank you for the good times and the bad… but mostly the bad, because if I’m being honest, there were more of those than the good.

Remember the time we were on our way back to school from the mall and one simple comment led into a full blown arguing match and I kicked you out the car? You cussed me up and down that highway I’m sure.  I remember driving back to my dorm in total tears, vowing myself that I was done with you. 4 hours later, we were laid up watching Set It Off. LOL.  Let’s not forget all of those times your friends told me you were cheating on me and to leave you alone. For the life of me, I don’t know why I didn’t listen. Insecurity? Fear?

For years I hated you for what you did [and we both know what you did], because all of the things you said no to for me, you told her yes. I developed a seed of bitterness that I should’ve never let you plant. Fast forward to now, while I’m not necessarily happy for you, I’m not mad at you either, and I wish you and yours the best, because I don’t want to block my own happiness. I’ve never said this, but thank you. Thank you for teaching me self – worth. In our time together, I let you run over me and while I knew better, I accepted a toxic relationship. But I’m thankful for it.

Because of our tumultuous – year long encounter, I learned to raise my standards. I learned to not accept anything mediocre in a man. Because of you, I now know what respect and gratitude looks like, because it’s the complete opposite of what I got from you. I’ve learned how to maneuver through heart ache and I owe it all to you. You taught me to be strong and to fight for myself. You taught me to stand up for myself. You were selfish, and from that, I learned to be selfish too. Your selfishness taught me selflessness and that until I want to change it, it’s all about me. You taught me that I don’t have to love if I don’t to, don’t have to care if I don’t want to, or communicate if I don’t want to.

Oh yeah, you taught me how beautiful I really am.



I can count on one hand how many times you acknowledged my beauty. That does something to a girl when she’s in love you know? Because of you, I was really out here thinking that I was ugly – inside and out. Now I know that I’m the most beautiful thing walking this earth. I owe that to you, because I don’t think I would’ve realized that if it weren’t for you.

Before I forget, you also taught me what it means to really be wined and dined, because unlike when I was with you, that’s what I’m experiencing now.  Above all of that, you taught me about me. You taught me that I’m beautiful inside and out, regardless of whether I hear it from someone else or not. You have taught me to appreciate my peace of mind. Before I thought chaos was equivalent to caring – now all I seek is peace and harmony. I’ve learned through you that it’s okay to be myself and that I don’t need to minimize myself to boost up a man.

You have molded me into the woman that I am today.

I move differently because of you. I move like I’m that bitch… because I’ve learned that I am.

So I thank you.

I thank you for the laughs.

I thank you  for the cries.

I thank you for the lows.

And I thank you for the highs.

I thank you for the fights.

And I thank you for the smiles.

I thank you for the heartbreak.

And for turning me into the woman that I am now.

Whew. Okay, that felt good. Breakups suck, but it’s life. Moving on can be a challenge too, but here are three things you can do to make the moving on process a little more tolerable:

1.) Remember Your Self Worth: Relationships, if done wrong, can be draining. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. If the relationship was a draining one, I’m sure there were a few times where you felt less than what you really were – like you didn’t deserve more than what you had. We know that that’s simply not true, but the first thing you have to do, is to remember your self-worth. Dig deep into who was before that relationship and think about the boss chick you are now that you’re out of the relationship. You are a queen! Don’t forget it!

2.) Take Some Time to Yourself: The best way to learn about the kind of woman you are post-relationship is to take the time and learn about who you are. Go to social events. Pick up a new hobby. Get a new hairstyle. Do something for YOU!

3.) Breathe: A break up is going to take time. You won’t get over your ex in a day, a week, or even a few months; sometimes, it might take more than a year. While some may say that’s too long, remember there’s no right or wrong way on how to grieve a lost relationship. Take however long you need to. Just don’t lose yourself and beat yourself up in the process!




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