I’ve been a big girl all of my life.

And for as long as I can remember, I’ve been the big girl in all of my friend groups! My girls have always appreciated and hyped me up in any and every situation and for that, I’m thankful since I know there are some women who don’t experience that. However, as the fat friend, there’s a piece of my life that I completely forget to recognize or even acknowledge, until I came across this thread on Twitter that hit the deepest recesses of my mind.

Twitter user @delafro shared a personal account of how she gets treated by men while out and about with her friends as a plus size woman.


I didn’t realize this happened to me until I read this thread and the realization actually sucks. Nowadays, the fetishization of BBW’s has kind of masked the disgust and repulsive behavior some men exhibit, but it’s still there. Now I personally have never been verbally treated the way some women have, but as the big girl in all of my friend groups, I have experienced being ignored by men when they approach my friends on a night out. I’ve experienced everyone in my group getting chose and pulling numbers, while I’ve stood idly by waiting on them to finish. And I’ve experienced men offering my friends drinks at the bar, and only getting one because my friends would tell him that I was with them. I’ve experienced all of that and more and the feeling is truly trash.

I don’t know the thought process men have, but men when you see a big girl out with her friends, you need to treat her with the same respect as you would her smaller friend. Respect and courtesy shouldn’t end at pounds on the scale. You don’t have to find me attractive to be respectful and that’s on period!

Now let me say this:

This isn’t a cry for attention, sympathy, compliments or feel goods!

I look good regardless of my size! I pull the men that I want to pull and entertain whoever I want to! I don’t allow people to make me feel bad about my body because I don’t feel bad about my body! This post is to serve as a wake-up call and reminder to men and women that respect doesn’t equal the attraction you feel towards a woman!

Overall, ya’ll -women too – have to do better when it comes to your thicker counterparts. It shouldn’t have to be said, but literally, we are people too and the mistreatment and bullshit has to stop. Really, we’re all too grown.

Anyways, check on yall’s fat friend ya’ll. We be going through it!

Xoxo,

Raee

Over the weekend, Issa Rae won the Entrepreneurship Award at the Women in Film Awards held in Los Angeles. First off, congrats to Issa on her win, but bigger than the award was her flawless acceptance speech. In true Issa form, she regaled the audience with her hilarious speech which gave tribute to her favorite rappers. Prior to beginning her speech, she warned the audience that since her favorite rappers weren’t humble in their songs, that she wouldn’t be humble in her speech either.

This sentiment was great but it caused me to wonder why do we as women always for one have to preface our actions and two, seem to apologize for being humble or lack there of. Too often, we minimize ourselves in various spaces – at work, around men, and sometimes around each other – when we shouldn’t. We’re all boss women out here – if men aren’t apologizing for the boss shit that they do, then why do we?

Being humble is defined as having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance. If I know my value and my worth, why would I even allow myself the displeasure of being humble? There’s no way I’m lowering my importance for the satisfaction and approval of others. I believe that we should look at being humble in a new light! It’s okay to be noble and boastful sometimes, especially when you’ve every right to! Happy Monday and have a great week!

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I think it’s safe to say that I finally have a name for my weekend posts, so from now on, my formerly known posts ‘Weekend Wish List” will now be “Weekend Deals & Steals!”

Here are some goodies I’ve had my eye on this week.

Bath and Body works is currently having a major sale right now including $10.50 3 wick candles with an additional $10 off your total purchase. They’ve released some new fragrances, but this scent will always reign supreme!

I’m getting ready for Essence Festival and this is the perfect dress to wear around New Orleans and can easily be dressed up for a night out!

I’m currently obsessing over this paper-bag skirt! It’s a perfect pop of color for the workplace!

I love graphic T-shirts so this merch from one of my favorite Netflix shows is right up my alley!

I’m not over the suspender look just yet and these are currently on sale!

This mustard cut-out jumpsuit is so beautiful and perfect for this summer heat!

I’m not the biggest sneaker fan, but I love the colors in these Nike Prestos!

These iridescent sandals are everything and can go with any and every outfit!

That’s all I have for this week! See ya’ll next weekend for more deals and steals!

I’m back with some more of my fave weekend sales!

I’m trying to venture out and incorporate more colors into my wardrobe, so this dress might be a must buy!

Adidas might have just did something with these metallic baseball caps!

This mix-matched polka dot dress is everything to me! Perfect for work and an after-work spot!

Obsessed with the color of this short romper!

Steve Madden currently has 20% off on their site so I will be copping these!

These bad boys are currently 20% off and go all the way to a 3x!

This jumpsuit is perfect for a night out! I love the detail on the chest area and the style of the pants!

It’s not fall yet, but these booties are currently on sale for 50% off! They’re durable yet chic and can compliment any outfit, day or night!

I’m a sucker for animal print and this bodysuit combines them all! It’s currently 40% off!

Everything on Boohoo is currently 50% off right now and should last through the weekend, including these bad boys!

That’s all I have for this weekend!!

xoxo,

Raee

Here are a few of my favorite places to shop at for bomb swimwear that will have all eyes on you this summer!

GS Love

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Swimsuits are good quality with simplistic designs that won’t break the bank.

Sizes: L – 3x

Asos

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I love Asos because their clothes are truly unique. Their swimsuit options are filled with are filled with color and unique prints!

Sizes: 14 – 22

Boohoo

plus-size-swim-wear-boohoo

Boohoo is one of my go-to sites! Their sizing is a bit tricky as their clothes usually stretch, so I’d go down a size, but their options are cute and affordable.

Sizes: 12-24

Fashion Nova

plus-size-swim-wear-fashion-nova

No one should be a stranger to Fashion Nova. Home of sexy, revealing styles and affordable prices. I love FN’s unique styles that make the curvier women feel super sexy and confident!

Sizes: 1x-3x

Icon Swim

plus-size-swimwear-icon-swim

Came across this company last year when I was preparing for my trip to Jamaica! What I will say is if you’re trying to look sexy AF on the beach… then these are the swimsuits for you! However, they aren’t designed for the BBW’s overall. You definitely will have to look through these swimsuits and how they’re designed to see if it fits you’re body type.

Sizes: S-XL

Honorable Mention:

  • Eloquii: More on the pricer side, but the designs are unique and the swimsuits are designed to show off your most flattering assets. A few of my faves are this one, this baby, and this one!
  • Zaful: One of my favorite sites for cost-friendly clothing! Their swimsuits are BOMB too! I love this one and this one!
  • Swimsuits For All: An old reliable type of store. Their swimsuits are super good quality and their collection with Ashley Graham is lovely too! My favorites are here, here, and here!
  • Also, check out SheIn, Romwe, Target, and Torrid for more options for your summer swimwear!

Hope you found this style guide helpful and if you know of more spots that can be added to this list, please drop them in the comments below!

Talk soon!

xoxo,

Raee

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