For the longest time, I would get so annoyed when my friends or family would always hit me up for advice or to be the voice of reason. I didn’t see myself as that and didn’t get why they did either. I would complain to my mom about it, and she’d just say: people are drawn to you. Live with it!

People being drawn to me is something I never fully accepted until recently. During a Sunday sermon, the pastor emphasized how people who other people are drawn to, are in essence a lighthouse – we shine from the inside out.

This reminds me of the birth of baby Jesus and how the wise men followed the shining star to get to him. As a baby, Jesus himself was the light – people came to Him because something showed brightly in Him. [Matthew 2: 1-8] Now I’m definitely not saying we are like Jesus, but I will say that we are shining lights and need to embrace that rather than reject it.

A lighthouse by definition is a tower or structure designed to emit light and serve as a navigational aid for others. So what does this mean to you? It means that you were chosen to be a resource to other people. There’s a reason why you are the friend that everyone calls or texts to unload their problems, the coworker that everyone vents too, or the family member that everyone uses as a springboard during family strife. There is something in you that people see and are drawn to – everyone isn’t blessed enough to be able to be that person.

So the next time you’re questioning why everyone is always coming to you, don’t question it! Be thankful and continue going about your day shining like the light that you are!

Have a blessed week!



Over the weekend, Issa Rae won the Entrepreneurship Award at the Women in Film Awards held in Los Angeles. First off, congrats to Issa on her win, but bigger than the award was her flawless acceptance speech. In true Issa form, she regaled the audience with her hilarious speech which gave tribute to her favorite rappers. Prior to beginning her speech, she warned the audience that since her favorite rappers weren’t humble in their songs, that she wouldn’t be humble in her speech either.

This sentiment was great but it caused me to wonder why do we as women always for one have to preface our actions and two, seem to apologize for being humble or lack there of. Too often, we minimize ourselves in various spaces – at work, around men, and sometimes around each other – when we shouldn’t. We’re all boss women out here – if men aren’t apologizing for the boss shit that they do, then why do we?

Being humble is defined as having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance. If I know my value and my worth, why would I even allow myself the displeasure of being humble? There’s no way I’m lowering my importance for the satisfaction and approval of others. I believe that we should look at being humble in a new light! It’s okay to be noble and boastful sometimes, especially when you’ve every right to! Happy Monday and have a great week!

Imposter Syndrome: High achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a fear of being exposed as a fraud. [Dr. Pauline R. Lantz & Suzane Ames-1983]

I was listening to this weeks episode of one of my favorite podcasts The Friend Zone starring Dustin Ross, Assante, and Hey Fran Hey and they had Chescaleigh in as a surprise guest! If you don’t know, Chescaleigh who’s stardom rose from YouTube is now a writer, contributor and analyst on Comedy Central’s ‘The Nightly Show‘.

Chescaleigh schooling the kids on ‘The Nightly Show’

In this episode of the podcast, Chescaleigh talked about her rise to success and how at the start of her TV career, even now, she suffers  from imposter syndrome!

“I’ve been at The Nightly Show for 7 months now, I still do my YouTube videos and I do MTV’s ‘Decoded‘ on the weekends! The Nightly Show is so different for me. Being in a room with 12 other writers who’ve written for Letterman, the Daily Show, written for all sorts of awesome people…and then here I am like ‘the girl from YouTube’!”

Her statement resonated with me because here she is with all of her success and accolades and TV credits, still feeling less than because she didn’t have the same path, years invested or experience as her peers! I know that feeling first hand! I was only three months in the classroom working alongside teachers who had 10-20 years of experience on me! The same veteran teachers who had been teaching for years and were still having student discipline problems were asking me -a twenty-something, 3 month teacher who had students ready to fight each other over being disrespectful to me- how to get students to respect them!

Fran quoted the great Maya Angelou when Angelou admitted her fears of success:

“I’ve written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh Oh!’ They’re going to find out now! I’ve run a game on everybody and their going to find me out!”

Now isn’t that something? THE Maya Angelou -Tony Award nominated, 5 time Grammy award and Pultizer Prize winner- admits to having fears of not being good! But it’s understandable! No matter how successful we get, we still have a fear that we aren’t good enough or qualified enough for the amount of success we have! I’m a teacher and all though I haven’t been teaching long, for the amount of time I have been teaching and the small accomplishments I’ve earned here and there, I still don’t feel qualified to be teaching others! Just like Angelou, self-doubt flutters through my mind. Main thought being “Oh no, these kids are going to find me out! Find out that I can’t teach!” That’s crazy right? Especially when my student’s test scores increased and their behavior problems decreased since last year! [That doesn’t sound like a big accomplishment but in the world of education, it is!!] When it boils down to it, I must be doing something right!!

We all have our own journey and we all have our fears! Your journey and success is your journey and success! No one can walk that path and no one can take your success from you! Imposter syndrome is no joke but the only remedy is to believe in yourself and stand proud in your accomplishments! You’ve worked hard for where you are; enjoy all of the fruits of your labors instead of hiding them from yourself!

Do you suffer from imposter syndrome?! How do you handle it?!

Also, check out the ‘Imposter Syndrome’ episode of The Friend Zone guest starring Chescaleigh below:

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