Thanksgiving is tomorrow and while it’s a time for family and friend fellowship, good food, and good drinks, I think it also calls for a time to give thanks and show gratitude towards the year thus far!
My 2018 has been pretty good to me. I knocked some things off my bucket list, made some new friends, lost friends, found myself, and so on. So as I’m sitting here, coffee in hand, I’m finding myself overfilled with emotion when I think about what I’m actually thankful for.
Obviously, I’m thankful for my family and seeing another day on earth, but conceptually, I’m thankful for much more.
1.) Fresh Starts
For me, relaunching 50 Shades of Raee was the biggest fresh start of my year. Before the relaunch, I took a seven-month break from the blog because I just couldn’t find my voice; I felt I was being fake. To keep from feeling that way, I stepped back, did some reflecting and soul – searching, and came back better than ever. My comeback has been the best thing so far. I’m not at all where I want to be with my blog, but I’m a hell of a lot farther than what I thought I’d be. The support has been amazing and while the growth has been slow, it’s been organic, and for that I’m grateful.
2.) New Inspirations
My full-time job is a teacher. I love some aspects of it like the relationships with the kids, and hate other aspects of it, like the government-controlled aspects. However, on a recent trip to the NCTE convention [National Convention for Teachers of English], I left completely inspired and encouraged to be a better teacher to my kids. Now I think I’m a great teacher, but as a teacher, you should also be an advocate, and that’s where I could be better and I will.
At the conference, I also met so many young black educators and I was truly amazed at how amazingly intelligent each of them was – truly inspiring enough to where I left there yearning to be like them. Every day something in my life inspires me, but I have to say nothing left me as inspired than sitting in a room of educators who look like me telling me to better than I already am. That inspiration is unmatched!
I’m ending this year with a broken heart. It is what it is. Yeah, I cried for a few days because I’m human, but I’m thankful for it. Sometimes, we try and hold on to things that God is trying and has been trying to tear apart. This past relationship was so much better than my previous relationship in so many ways, but in many ways, it wasn’t what I anticipated or desired.
Luckily, I was blessed enough to have a guy who saw he wasn’t giving me what I wanted and chose to remove himself so that the next and better man could, and I’ll be forever grateful for that. I’m not exactly sure where that leads me and how long I’ll be in this season of singles. But I am excited about getting to know myself more and pursuing goals that I was distracted from achieving earlier. Break-up’s don’t always have to be a bad thing. It’s a set of lessons used to teach one how to navigate the social and emotional realm of another person.
4.) Being Alone
In 2016, I struggled a lot with being by myself. I had serious FOMO and whatever kind of invitation I got to go somewhere, I took full advantage of it. I did so much in 2016 that I told myself in 2017, I would sit my ass down somewhere. 2017 came and went and I did the same thing I did the year before. So I promised myself again for 2018, I would say no to people and things and spend more time alone. And I did just that.
It’s something serene and reflective about being alone – about being completely alone with your thoughts and emotions. It gives you time to process and time to learn and experience. Being by myself this year, I learned some feelings about myself that I never knew I had that I now will be working on for the upcoming year. Time alone gave me the chance to envision my life in 5 years and think about what I like and don’t like. Time alone is something that has truly shaped my outlook on 2018 and I couldn’t be more pleased and for that, I’m thankful!
5.) My Faith and Religion
I am oh so thankful for MY God and the blessings that He has bestowed upon me this year. If I’m being honest, I’m not deserving in the least bit, but He always pulls me through just in the nick of time. For me, there’s comfort in knowing that I can open my Bible and read a comforting passage promising the riches of the world or any and everything that my heart desires.
This year wasn’t necessarily a trying year [which has me concerned about 2019 if I’m being honest]. Everything went pretty smooth and I was just going with the flow. I think it’s because I have a better understanding of ‘if it’s meant to be, then it will be.’ My faith is stronger. I believe that things will happen for me without knowing how or when they’re going to happen and that regardless of my situation, I’m going to be perfectly okay and have everything I need and more and for that I AM THANKFUL!!!
I hope that you all have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving enjoying friends and family. Before the week is over, reflect on your areas of gratitude. What are you thankful for and why?