Dating As a Plus Size Queen

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If I’m being completely honest, even discussing this topic is wild! BUT… the conversation is needed. There is this constant back and forth discourse about big girls and dating especially us dating skinny men. It’s ridiculous, irrelevant, and most importantly it’s tired! So, I wanted to address the topic from MY perspective!

Are you ready?? Let’s go!

Big Girls Can Have a Type?

Society says that as a plus woman, my only options, if  I even have options at all, are bigger men, and for a while, I thought that to be true. I can’t lie, I used to go out of my way to talk to bigger men because I thought that’s all I could get. And please, no shade to bigger men, because I love a teddy bear, but if I’m being honest, a tall, Chris Brown, Michael Bae. Jordan hybrid can easily get it, and that’s facts! I’ve dated all kinds of guys, so when it comes to a type, I can’t say that I have a specific one.

On the surface, I like him taller than me, with a nice smile, nice back, and clean nails, but of if we’re talking beyond superficial vices, I look for a lot more. One of the biggest things that I look for is a man who appreciates me and sees the beauty in every single roll, dip, and crater on my body. For that reason, I need a man that’s dealt with a fluffy queen before. I don’t have the patience or time to train a man into valuing my body and I surely don’t want to be a newbie’s virgin project! I wasn’t always this sure, mind you. It took me seeing a man love and appreciate every pound on my body for me to realize that I deserve that from every man I deal with for the rest of my life.

Big Girls Can Be Confident?

In high school and even college, I was very insecure about being the ‘big girl.’ I was and still am the biggest girl out of the group and all of my friends would be getting chose except me. Thankfully, with the sudden societal appreciation for BBW’s, I’m more confident when I step out, but again, it wasn’t always this way. I used to question how girls bigger than me had so much confidence and seek out what I had to do to be that confident too.

The answer was simple. Value and recognize my self-worth. I mean this in the humblest of ways, but I know that I look good regardless of if I’m 150 or 250. Because of this, I know that I can be picky. I don’t want a man who only sees size anyways and that’s the biggest thing I keep in mind when dealing with them. The beautiful thing about weight is that it can come off if I chose for it too. For me, that’s what I want a man to remember. When I’m involved with a man, he’s choosing to take me as I am, in whatever form that may be. He should not be meeting me as curvy, fat, round, or whatever I happen to be that day, and change into something else.

Now again, this self-assuredness hasn’t always been there. There was once upon a time where I would question guys about liking big women or ask if they knew I wasn’t small. LOL. It’s funny now, but that’s really how I maneuvered, especially if the guy was very attractive. I used to downplay myself out of fear and that was hella wack. But my tune has definitely changed and at this point, you either gon’ rub on this belly or you not, and if you not, then move out the way so I can meet the guy who will!

But my tune has definitely changed and at this point, you either gon’ rub on this belly or you not, and if you not, then move out the way so I can meet the guy who will!

Where to Find Em’ At

Ok, so where do you find men who love fluffy queens at? Sis, literally ANY and EVERYwhere! There are men all over who appreciate more cushion for the pushin’, but unfortunately, in this era of dating, dating is harder than ever before. My tip to you is to just get out of the house. Go to clubs, bars, lounges, museums, or any place where men are at. If being on the scene isn’t really your thing, then try online dating apps or even utilize social media. Slide a DM to your Twitter crush and shoot your shot sis! There will never be a shortage of men, you just have to find the man worthy of your time!

Dating as a BBW isn’t a new phenomenon! WE BEEN HERE!!! Just like so many other women, I had to find my confidence and my voice. To get there, I had to pray and practice self – love and that’s what’s missing these days. Bigger women are told to lose weight and that if we don’t, we shouldn’t love ourselves as much as we do. Because of this societal hate, bigger women have gone unappreciated and unloved from the male species.

As a woman, I don’t tolerate that and neither should you! You deserve a man that will proudly and loudly love you, show you off, brag about you, and everything else – not keep you hidden because of his insecurities! The BBW wave is now and people can get behind or get left!

Hope ya’ll enjoyed this one here! Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram! Talk soon!

xoxo,

Raee

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