It’s Exhausting Being the Fat Friend

I’ve been a big girl all of my life.

And for as long as I can remember, I’ve been the big girl in all of my friend groups! My girls have always appreciated and hyped me up in any and every situation and for that, I’m thankful since I know there are some women who don’t experience that. However, as the fat friend, there’s a piece of my life that I completely forget to recognize or even acknowledge, until I came across this thread on Twitter that hit the deepest recesses of my mind.

Twitter user @delafro shared a personal account of how she gets treated by men while out and about with her friends as a plus size woman.


I didn’t realize this happened to me until I read this thread and the realization actually sucks. Nowadays, the fetishization of BBW’s has kind of masked the disgust and repulsive behavior some men exhibit, but it’s still there. Now I personally have never been verbally treated the way some women have, but as the big girl in all of my friend groups, I have experienced being ignored by men when they approach my friends on a night out. I’ve experienced everyone in my group getting chose and pulling numbers, while I’ve stood idly by waiting on them to finish. And I’ve experienced men offering my friends drinks at the bar, and only getting one because my friends would tell him that I was with them. I’ve experienced all of that and more and the feeling is truly trash.

I don’t know the thought process men have, but men when you see a big girl out with her friends, you need to treat her with the same respect as you would her smaller friend. Respect and courtesy shouldn’t end at pounds on the scale. You don’t have to find me attractive to be respectful and that’s on period!

Now let me say this:

This isn’t a cry for attention, sympathy, compliments or feel goods!

I look good regardless of my size! I pull the men that I want to pull and entertain whoever I want to! I don’t allow people to make me feel bad about my body because I don’t feel bad about my body! This post is to serve as a wake-up call and reminder to men and women that respect doesn’t equal the attraction you feel towards a woman!

Overall, ya’ll -women too – have to do better when it comes to your thicker counterparts. It shouldn’t have to be said, but literally, we are people too and the mistreatment and bullshit has to stop. Really, we’re all too grown.

Anyways, check on yall’s fat friend ya’ll. We be going through it!

Xoxo,

Raee

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