When I was 13 or so, I just knew that I would be making millions, married, and with two kids living in our huge house by the time I was 26. Yet, here I am 28, making decent money, single, with no kids or a huge house to my name.
While I’m seemingly content with that, society [internet culture included] says that I shouldn’t be. Society says that I need to be focused on actively finding a husband and preparing myself for children and married life. And while I want that to happen, I don’t necessarily want it to happen today.
So if that’s the case, why do I sometimes feel a sense of failure that I’m not living as society says? Why do I, at 28, feel like I’m running out of time to create this picture perfect life I’ve always imagined for myself? After some reflection, the answer is plain – I’ve spent too much time building my life on other people’s time.
Social media has an easy way of making us feel that we are always late to the party. Aside from marriage and kids, I experienced this when trying to accomplish one of my lifetime dreams. Since high school, my dream was to join a sorority in college. My vision included strolling on campus and getting to the clubs for free. My dream fell to pieces when I didn’t get accepted into the sorority. I knew that I could try again after I graduated, but where was the fun in that?
Literally heartbroken, my mom shared some of her mama quotes and reminded me that ‘What God has for you is for you when He’s ready for you to have it.” In that same conversation, my mother made me realize that the only reason I was super sad about this rejection was that society says that rushing during college is the pinnacle of one’s collegiate experience.
And she was right.
I was so caught up on sticking to this timeline and rushing before graduating, that I wasn’t appreciating the potential second chance I had. A few weeks ago, I got the second chance of reaching my dream when I became a member of that sorority. And guess what? I appreciated the process much more this go-round, then I probably would have in college! With this experience, I created my own timeline and didn’t give a damn about anyone’s opinion about it!
The older I get and the more of life I experience, the more I value the time I spend on creating the life I want. I’m thankful for this peace because for years I’ve lived life on a timeline that I didn’t create for myself which was causing me unnecessary stress in trying to achieve things that I wasn’t ready for!
I know you have goals and ambitions for yourself and there is nothing wrong with creating deadlines to accomplish those goals! My only hope is that you make sure to work towards and live out those goals and dreams on your own time and no one else’s. At the end of the day, when it’s time for you to have it, then you will get it. Stop letting outsiders define when that time for you is! The beauty in achieving your goals is that the journey is yours and no one can define or set that for you EXCEPT you!